


Marigold

by LameAssFan



Category: Bleach
Genre: Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Hurt/Comfort, I highkey ship all the Visored captains with their lieutenants ok, Izuru is Rose's muse, M/M, Mentions of Gin - Freeform, Night Terrors, Smoking, There's more angst than there is fluff, imagine how perfect they are for each other tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-17 16:34:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28852149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LameAssFan/pseuds/LameAssFan
Summary: To Izuru, Rose is the flower, harmless and plush against his fingertips. But he is also the stem full of thorns, bound to hurt him if he's not careful enough.
Relationships: Kira Izuru & Otoribashi Roujuurou, Kira Izuru/Otoribashi Roujuurou
Comments: 6
Kudos: 12





	Marigold

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a few months ago when I attempted to write a fic for every division inspired by what their insignias meant. I failed to produce 13 of those, obviously. But this one is my favorite out of the three I did write. Hope you like it!
> 
> Oh, and I don't condone smoking. Don't smoke, kids. They're souls and it probably doesn't put their health at risk lol.

Rose and Izuru are smoking on a hill overlooking the Seireitei, the sky overcast and heavy with the promise of rain. It's rare for Izuru to spend any amount of the weekend anywhere other than in his quarters - more specifically, in his room, on his futon, burning holes into the walls and the ceiling with his barren stare. So Rose is quick to take him up on his invitation.

"I wrote a new song for you", he says sweetly out of nowhere.

"That's the third one this month, captain", Izuru replies after huffing out a plume of smoke, his breath dragged out and deep. Rose ignores the complaint in his voice.

"You inspire me so."

Izuru tries not to smile. "That's nice of you to say."

Rose is affectionate - always calling him things like  _ dear  _ and  _ darling,  _ writing melodies for him so foreign that he will never quite know how to process the meaning behind them. Izuru wasn't sure if he liked it at first, the way Rose is so  _ different  _ from the last one.

"Do they bother you?", his captain asks quietly, like he's just read his mind.

"The songs?"

Rose pauses, regards his muse for a moment. "The ways in which I appreciate your beauty."

Izuru furrows his brows. "I think what bothers me is that you find me beautiful in the first place." This makes Rose laugh, and it's a deep, velvety sound he's come to enjoy.

"There's beauty in everything, dear."

"Even in a dead man?"

Rose finishes his cigarette, incinerates the stub wordlessly with a mild Kido. He turns to Izuru and runs a hand gently through his hair. " _ Especially  _ in a dead man", he says, just a hint of madness in his saccharine tone.

Izuru sighs out his last bit of smoke and leans in ever so slightly to the warmth of his touch. He's not sure if Rose knows which dead man he was referring to.

"Remembering him makes me sick", he finds himself saying. Suddenly, his throat is closing up and breathing is a little harder - and he's fairly certain it's got nothing to do with the smoking.

If he closed his eyes, he could still see the silver hair, the serpentine lean, the malevolent smile.

"Why is that?", Rose asks.

"He wasn't…  _ good  _ to me. To anybody. Not in the way you are." He feels his head reel, and he's tempted to press the lit end of his cigarette onto bare skin to ground himself.

"And yet?"

Izuru shrugs, his eyes pinned to the Seireitei. "He's still here, somewhere", he says, gesturing to nothing in particular. On the worst days, he is everywhere.

Rose listens and says nothing because he’s kind like that. And he likes how Rose is kind, but he wishes sometimes that he wouldn't be - that way he can keep thinking of Gin like nothing was ever wrong with him and none of it would have to hurt so badly.

"I can be more like him if that's what you want." There he goes again, like he knows exactly what’s on his mind. Rose offers himself without missing a beat. Like he's so sure he can be as cold, as cunning, as manipulating, if Izuru really wanted him to. It’s nothing short of ludicrous, and maybe just a  _ little bit  _ comical. He really is like some kind of art piece in a gallery, the kind you don’t quite understand, but can’t help but look at. Observe. Admire.

Izuru would be lying if he said he wasn't tempted to say yes, but he knows he deserves better. Rose - whether he knows it or not - reminds him everyday.

It's been more than ten years since his new captain showed up, and Izuru supposes he's gotten used to it - the way he's so different from the last one. So he shakes his head no, and he attempts to smile the way the living do.

  
  
  


"That's it dear, breathe", Rose's voice soothes over Izuru's shallow, uneven breaths, his hand running gently up and down his back. His lieutenant has had the attacks much less lately, which he's thankful for. But it doesn't ever make up for how terrible the ordeal is. "I'm here."

Izuru draws in a shaky breath through the mouth, and almost forgets to breathe back out if it weren't for Rose reminding him. He tries to sputter an apology, but words have become difficult. He doesn't even remember much of the nightmare that's brought this about - though judging by the phantom pain on the right side of his chest, he’s got a pretty good idea.

All he remembers is waking up - screams and all - footsteps walking into his room, and a pair of strong hands holding him steady. His fist clenches against Rose's robes until his knuckle turns a shade lighter, and he feels a hand over his in an effort to calm him down.

Rose owes his patience, perhaps, to the hollowfication. He and his family are no strangers to the night terrors, and the panic attacks that occasionally follow suit.

He starts humming at some point because he knows it helps distract Izuru from the noises he's making and from the noises in his head. Rose doesn't count how many songs it takes for the sobs to finally die down, and for Izuru's arms to  _ finally _ move, wrapping tightly around his waist. Rose feels his head rest on the crook of his neck, and he holds him there for however long he needs it.

"I'm sorry", he finally manages.

"Heavens, Izuru", Rose croons. He lets his hand drift to the side of his face, brushing the back of his fingers against warm, damp skin. "Don't ever apologize. For anything."

"It's the middle of the night."

"I wasn't even asleep yet, sweetheart."

"You're lying."

Rose chuckles and pries Izuru off him gingerly. He takes in the tears mingling with his sweat, the puffiness in his eyes, and the red splotches decorating his face. Even with the room plunged in darkness, even in distress, his Izuru never fails to take his breath away.

"I would never lie to you", Rose promises, and the pain in the boy's eyes tells him he's heard that one before.

Maybe he's ashamed, or maybe he's just too tired to straighten up for more than a few seconds. Either way, Izuru lets himself lean right back into his captain's warmth, sighing when his head finds placement against the soft skin where his neck meets his shoulder. Rose is content to hold him like this all through the night, but the boy is obviously in dire need of rest.

"Would you like me to stay? Would that help you sleep better?", he asks. He feels Izuru nod so he coaxes him back onto the futon. They settle the way they always have on bad nights such as this, limbs moving like muscle memory to envelop the other person.

"Thank you", Izuru says, barely above a whisper. And then, even softer still, "I'm sorry."

Rose smiles through the pang in his chest, and rests his lips against Izuru's forehead. He hums until at least one of them falls asleep.

  
  
  
  


"Again."

The young shinigami charge at each other, the clash of their wooden swords ripping through the dojo. Izuru is circling them at a distance, watching their every move, moving in to correct their stances with his own bokken, the occasional "good" or "stop" or "again" the only breaks in his silence.

Izuru is, as Yamamoto had once put it, one of the Gotei 13's finest warriors, and the men and women of the 3rd Company don't dare forget it. When it's time to train, there will never be a soul out of place, and it's not even because they fear the reaction they'd get from Izuru - he rarely ever reacts to anything. It's simply respect he's never had to ask for.

"Stop", he says when one of the shinigami takes a hard hit to the side. He shoots the young woman a questioning look, his gaze just a tad concerned. She manages a nod.

"You're swinging your sword blind", he starts, placing a glowing hand over the spot she'd been hit. "Thrashing about thoughtlessly like that doesn't increase your chances of landing a hit, much less winning a fight."

The pain in her face recedes gradually, and she returns to her stance. Izuru nods at her, and then gives the other one a pat on the shoulder before stepping away. He addresses the rest of the room.

"Your bodies and your weapons are made to be used with intent - to defend, to subdue, to kill. To hesitate is to fail. To be too impulsive is to fail. Understood?"

The room nearly shakes with the chorus of voices. "Yes, sir!"

“Again.”

Another hour later when the session ends, the shinigami file out of the room, leaving Izuru to stew in his own thoughts. He’s not sure if he finds the end of everyday relieving or dreadful.

Two quick knocks on the wooden door tear his gaze from the window, and he sees Rose leaning casually on the doorway, his smile comforting as always. “Captain”, he acknowledges with a bow.

“At ease, Izuru”, he says gently as he saunters inside. “So, what do you make of the new additions?”

Izuru’s head bobs slightly as he thinks. “A few kinks here and there, but nothing I haven’t already expected.”

Rose hums meaningfully. “They look forward to the training, you know. It’s quite remarkable.”

Izuru raises an eyebrow at him. “It’s not uncommon for the younger ones to be over-excited, sir”, he says.

“Of course. But even our most experienced men are just as eager. They’ve told me as much.” Rose walks past him, over to the rack where the training swords are hanging. “Your impact on this division is not to be belittled.”

Izuru catches the bokken with ease, and Rose takes his place in the middle of the room. He eyes his captain curiously, and he can’t help the smile slowly creeping across his lips. He sets the wooden sword down and grips Wabisuke’s scabbard. To his delight, Rose does the same.

_ Madness _ , he thinks to himself. 

To Izuru, Rose is the flower, harmless and plush against his fingertips. But he is also the stem full of thorns, bound to hurt him if he's not careful enough. He finds both sides equally enticing, and for once, he is sure he never wants him to change.

He walks over, stands a few feet away, and takes his stance at the same time Rose does.

“I do hope you’re not that tired yet, dear. I’d hate to overwork you”, he says too sweetly given the circumstances. “But I’m quite eager myself.”

This time, Izuru huffs out a laugh -  _ his  _ laugh, the one that’s made of ash and smoke and is always somewhere between happiness and despair. It’s a sound that sends electricity down Rose’s spine, and he already knows he’s writing a new song when he gets home.

They draw and charge in perfect time, the sound of steel against steel making both their pulses run wild. Rose has never been more inspired in his life, and Izuru has never felt more alive.

“Beautiful”, he whispers right before they break, and Izuru pretends not to hear, lest he lose his focus.

**Author's Note:**

> I have so many ShinHina WIPs it's not even funny, and I'm STILL getting new ideas. So when I came across this one buried under all those, I knew I couldn't waste it. Any sort of relationship between Rose and Izuru just melts me, romantic or not. I love the idea of Izuru being Rose's muse, and Rose being Izuru's new reason to live since so much has been taken away from him through the years. Honestly, I hate what the story's done to him (to a lot of them lol), so I want to give our sad boy the happiness he deserves.
> 
> Feedback is highly appreciated! Thanks for reading!


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